I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
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