Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
nutella sex= disaster
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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