He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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