in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
