worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
