Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
