I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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