opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
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