Your mouth is God's brothel.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
