I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
