Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Randomize
