i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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