I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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