Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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