My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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