I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
