My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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