Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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