I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
