Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Randomize
