Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
