Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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