I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
