She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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