You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
