I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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