if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
