u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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