I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
The best revenge is premature balding
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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