I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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