his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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