You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
