butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
