Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
