i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Are we still banned from the library?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
