For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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