I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
