you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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