do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I currently don't understand fingers.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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