This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
