a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
