Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
is that a dick in a sweater?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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