i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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