Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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