turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
