I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
