How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
