Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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