I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
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