i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
