she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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