did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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